Since everyday in every way you will have to deal with all your fellow human beings in love relationship, work relationship, friend relationship and even spiritual relationship. So you might as well learn how to use interpersonal communication the right way for the rest of your life. And what exactly is interpersonal communication you ask?. Well interpersonal communication is the ability to relate properly and effectively to another person, all the while being and remaining on the same page. And you see nothing is more frustrating when you're talking to your lover, family members, co-workers and even complete strangers out in public, and yet they have no idea what you're talking about. Or they take your words and twist them, and then make them come out to mean something entirely different than what you meant. Your fault.
Also interpersonal communication has 3 facets:
1. Dyadic communication – meaning the communication between 2 people within an environment.
2. Public communication – meaning the communication between you and the public while doing your job, or while helping others.
3. Small group communication – meaning the communication between a small group of people like at a “ Lovers Retreat Seminar. “
And each one of these facets can be intertwined at any time during communication, because you can start by relating to one person and then others join in, and afterward all of you end up sharing and relating to one another. And really dear friend, the whole idea of interpersonal communication is to try to be less impersonal when you are reaching out to others. Also to note, when communicating with others you have to remember that there are different ways to do so like: With speech, by listening, by paraphrasing, questioning, by taking turn to communicate, by summarizing and even unconsciously communicating. And sometimes we are not even aware that we are using one or all of these communications during a conversation, or when relating to others.
As well with interpersonal communication you will always have to remember these 3 main things when relating to your loved ones and others:
First there is the message intended. Meaning, you are very clear in your head as to what you want to say, how you're saying it and how it's going out to the person or group that you're communicating with.
Second, there is the actual message sent. Because sometimes in your head you have one set of message, but your mouth, your body, your walk, your dressing attire are sending out a completely different message. Like for example, you're telling someone that you don't believe in mutilation and yet your body is full of tattoos and piercings. Or you're telling your lover that you love that person very much, and that this person is the only one in your life but at the same time, your cellphone is going off with calls and text messages from your admires and pursuers.
Third, there is the message received. And I must tell you dear friend, that if you are the one who initiated the message, then sent it out, it is vital as well that you make sure that this message is received exactly in all the ways that you meant it. In other words, with interpersonal communication you have to make sure that all things match like: you can't be telling or relating to someone that you are a very clean person, and yet that other person is looking at you and your teeth are stained, your hair has flakes and you smell. Got it?.
And you've heard it said many times, say what you mean and mean what you say. Well they actually mean all of the above, because you can't be relating to your lover to help you with your cellphone bill and yet you're holding a couple of thousand of dollars in your hands, all the while having 10 bags of expensive clothes at your feet as well. Or you're communicating to your boss that you need a raise, yet you drive the most expensive car in the office and wear the most expensive clothes, as well you are always buying everybody lunch.
In closing, interpersonal communication is very much a 2 way street. Because the same things I just mentioned above, you will be looking for them yourself whenever someone is relating to you. And one final thing to mention to you dear friend, is that you must learn to be a “ Good listener. “ And what I mean by a good listener is, when someone starts to relate to you about a situation or a problem, you must take the time to listen to every word that this person is saying. Because what most people do is, as soon as someone starts to relate a problem to them, they automatically activate their brain to begin looking for a solution. And so they only get to hear half of the story, in their zeal to help out. So communicate clearly by relating exactly what you mean, and let your body, mind and surroundings actually match that. It's kind of like when you're dressing up, you make sure that you are very well coordinated in that everything matches. James Dazouloute
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