Medieval Times - 12 Reasons To Live In Them.

Medieval Times were an exciting time, filled with miseries for the people but filled with riches and luxury for those in power. But then again, the more things change the more they stay the same, because even to this day, the rich lives a great life reserved only for the gods, while the people suffer to make ends meet. 

So Let's See About The Medieval Times, Shall We:  
 Medieval villages consisted of a population comprised mostly of farmers.
• It was the central place where people lived, worked, socialized, married, enjoyed local festivals, attended church, gave birth to child rend and eventually died, rarely ever venturing beyond its boundaries.
• Medieval society depended on the village for protection and a majority of people during these centuries called a village home.
• Village life was busy. Much of this life was lived outdoors, wearing simple dress and living on a meager diet.
• Most of the time was spent working the land and trying to grow enough food to survive another year.
• Some villages were temporary, and the society would move on if the land proved infertile or weather made life too difficult.
• Other villages continued to exist for centuries. Every village had a lord, even if he didn’t make it his permanent residence. After the 1100s, castles often dominated the village landscape.

1.) People in the Middle Ages had spoons, and they had knives, but there were no forks. This contributed to much sickness since the hands were used considerably in the consumption of food, and the wash basins were not usually located near the dining areas.

2.) The contraceptive of choice back in the Dark Ages? Sheep dung... I shall not elaborate further on this one.

3.) To brush one's teeth, burnt rosemary was placed on a cloth and then one would scrub their teeth with it. People desperately tried to keep their teeth since tooth extraction was extremely painful what with no anesthetic and all

4.) People believed that diseases were spread by foul odors.

5.) Unlike WoW today, women were barred from joining a guild.

6.) Disease was believed to be the consequence of sin.

7.) The lance received its name from the legendary Sir Lancelot. (I wonder if his name had been Sir Lancelittle, would they still have named a battle weapon after him??)

8.) The elements of the Universe were considered to be water, air, fire, and earth. These elements directly corresponded to the body, so the elements were thus linked; phlem-water, blood-air, yellow bile-fire, and earth-black bile. The bodily elements were called humors.

9.) The term "Coup de Grace" comes from the death blow given to an opponent in jousting.

10.) Pilgrimages were more often made to cure ailments than for spiritual fortification.

11.) Before becoming a knight, one had to serve at least 7 years as a page and an additional 7 as a squire.

12.) Scientific achievements in Medieval times may seem laughable at times, but the fact is that many commonly used appliances and tools today came from this time period: the pump, the hydrostatic balance, the pendulum, the sector, the thermometer, the telescope, and the lodestone.

13.) Cobwebs were believed to cure warts.


1. You could settle every argument by jousting.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times
Landlord says you’re late on rent? Joust ‘em for it. Roommate forgot to take out the trash? Joust ‘em for it. Everyone saying your obsession with jousting to solve all your problems is getting out of hand? Joust ‘em for it.

2. Animals could be put on trial for any wrongdoings.

Animals could be put on trial for any wrongdoings.
Chambers Book of Days / Via
In the case of House Cat Vs. Your Sweet New Ikea Sofa, we find the defendant, Fluffy McWhiskerpaws, guilty by Animal Court of Law. We sentence him to five thousand kissy-wisses. Dismissed.

3. Immaculately painted portraits and Facebook selfies.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times
Every. Single. Time.

That said, even medieval portraiture wasn’t wholly exempt from duckface.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times

4. No silverware? No problem.

No silverware? No problem.
The middle ages made it socially acceptable to eat everything with your bare hands like a big fat slob. Bonus: you didn’t have to wash any dishes when you were done! Take that, Adulthood!

5. Beer was flowing like water. Literally.

Beer was flowing like water. Literally.
Mostly because the drinking water was so unsanitary that the boiled — thus germ-free — beer was a much safer alternative. Oh, the sacrifice!

6. Words were just cooler back then.

Words were just cooler back then.
Goblet, flagon, tankard > tall, grande, venti. Deal with it.

7. You could live in castles, cottages, towers, and manors.

You could live in castles, cottages, towers, and manors.
Basically, no matter what your living situation was it already beat the hell out of looking for a shoebox studio on Craigslist.

8. Medieval fashion was the best fashion.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times
And thus, not a pair of skinny pantaloons was seen across the land, and it was good.

9. You could own as many swords as you want and nobody would bat an eyelash.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times
And you could buy them from real-life blacksmiths, not cheesy late-night infomercials.

10. You could get away with bathing once a month and nobody would call you out on it.

You could get away with bathing once a month and nobody would call you out on it.
Real talk: it’s okay to be totally gross when society as a whole is totally gross.

11. The live entertainment was second to none.

13 Reasons Why Living In Medieval Times Was Better Than Modern Times
Duels, jesters, bards, archery contests, jousting — it’s like every day was dinner at Medieval Times! Except you probably had a slightly better chance of losing an eye.

12. “Knight” was a completely viable career option.

"Knight" was a completely viable career option.
Be honest: when was the last time someone endorsed you for “Dragon Slaying” or “Saving Maidens” on LinkedIn?

 And, yes, because there were still cats.

And, yes, because there were still cats.
Only they spent substantially less time walking across your keyboard and just as much time strutting over your immaculately-scrawled manuscripts.


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Tags: Medieval Times, Facts about Medieval Times, What to know about Medieval Times, People in Medieval Times 
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