And quite frankly, no one really like to argue or love dealing with conflicts, and especially when they have to do with your love life. Because that other person is your baby, your teddy bear, your heart and your heaven, and you really just want to make love and be in love. But there are times when conflicts do arise, and it is all because you have 2 different personalities, wants and needs all constantly trying to mesh together. So what do you during this sad time?.
Well there are 10 easy things that you can do to handle the conflicts that you are faced with in any and all situations. And when there is a heated argument you must always:
01. Respect personal space.
You must do your best not to get into your lover's face or anyone else for that matter while in the middle of an argument. Remember, you are trying to deescalate the situation and bring it to resolve. So stay at least 2 arm lengths and talk.
02 Do not be provocative.
This is the love of your life and even though you are arguing right now, you will still be sharing the same bed later on. So do not keep provoking them by menacing them with your finger in their face or trying to find the harshest thing to say.
03 Keep verbal contact.
When tempers are flaring and you want to manage the conflict, keep talking and keep encourage them to share their thought. Because 90 % of arguments are about misunderstandings. So please let them talk to get a clear understanding of where they stand.
04 Speak clearly.
Or in other words say what you mean and mean what you say. And during conflict part of the brain shuts down, so you may have to repeat yourself to your lover or anyone else you're trying to deescalate the conflict with.
05 Clearly identify wants and needs.
Remember your lover's needs must be met, no ifs and buts about that. Then come the wants, and those are negotiable. So make sure you clearly state what you need, and understand precisely what do they need to feel better and then the “ Wants “ to be in heaven.
06 You must listen.
And this one thing is the number one reason couples break up during conflicts. Because one or both feel as though they will never be understood. So listen with open ears, open mind and open heart and do not feel insulted. If they did not care they would not try to speak.
07 You have to agree, or agree to disagree.
This is your love and you are trying to manage this conflict, so you are either going to agree or disagree. And in your beautiful love, there is no room for break up and there are times when you two will not see eye to eye right away. So respect each person's opinion, because each one of you had a particular upbringing, a particular set of experiences, and even special ways of dealing with things that bother you. So remember all these, and also that the other person is different, he or she is the opposite of you - but you can find ways to complement each other. Kind of like peanut butter and jelly, they are different and opposite to each other, but they come together greatly to complement each other on a piece of bread. So remember that piece of bread and use it as a metaphor to find something that is bigger than both of you, like having wonderful kids, like having the need to grow old together, like building a great life within one household and one complete family and not a broken one. Then you two will complement each other in opposite ways and come together to make that sandwich of love look and taste good. James Dazouloute, Relationship Coach.
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