And that is a question that You have been asking yourself constantly lately, especially as you are getting older by the day and years, and your confidence and charm all seem to be wavering. So Why Is That? Is it because of Hurt and Pain that you have suffered? Or is it because every time you thought you had Love just where you wanted her, she slipped from your hands again? Or maybe every time you had a Lover who was on the same page with you, seemingly working things out, he or she suddenly left you, and you had nothing to Hold On to? Or is it You who is the constant problem, looking for perfection (Your brand of perfection that is...) in Love and Relationship? Well don't fret Beloved, because today I will tackle each one of these questions, and help you find definite answers as to why you can't seem to Hold On To Love, and then you will have the key necessary to lock love in, and be able to Hold On...
1. --- So Why Can't You Hold On To Love? Is it because of Hurt and Pain that you have suffered?
You know, Hurt and Pain can leave so many scars in your Heart, Mind and then Body, that you become paralyzed and unable to effectively give your all to Love the next time he or she appears. And you already know that Love, while Wonderful, is also the worst giver of Pain and Hurt. And then on top of that, she will throw in Mr. Depression to really lock you into that cage of Loneliness and Confusion. And when the next Lover comes around, you won't be able to Hold On to his or her love, because your Mind and Heart will constantly be reminding You of What Happened Before, and why you Must Not give your all this time around.
So what You have to do Beloved, starting today, you must always go through a period of Meditation, or mulling over in your mind and heart what went wrong, and what really caused such hurt and pain. And this step is extremely important if you ever want to move forward in a healthy way, and you see how destructive life is for those people that go on the rebound right after a break up. Because they are using Escapism and not wanting to tackle the issue: Why They Couldn't Hold On To Love.
But Not You, because after you meditate and see how this Love began, did it begin with Cheating by one of you, did it begin with heavy white lies being told, did it begin with heavy alcohol and partying combined with poor judgment? Then you can see where you went wrong, because You already know from my previous writings, that Life Is A Cycle, and however something begins, it is the way it will end. Because the Beginning and the End are always one in the same, because they have to meet and be seamless to form that Circle. And just look at your life, when it began, you were helpless, you had to be fed, watched over, and taken care of in every way. Now look at the end of your life when you reach old age, you are also helpless, you have to be fed, watched over, and be taken care of in every way. Cycle Of Life and Cycle Of Love. So don't start Love by stealing somebody 's Lover or Spouse, because you will lose them the same way. Don't start a Love with heavy lies and pretenses, because you will not be able to Hold On to Love and will lose her the same way you began.
2. --- Why You Can't Seem To Hold On To Love? Is it because every time you thought you had Love just where you wanted her, she slipped from your hands again?
Sometimes you could just be living in your own world, in your own head, in your own heart and even in your own relationship. And even though Your Lover is right there, and is constantly mentioning to you what is wrong, what needs to be dealt with, and even tried to argue with you. But you just kept on ignoring that person and the issues of Love. So what happened? Well just like if you have a crack in your roof and it is leaking slowly, you ignore it, then it starts to pour in, you again ignore it, and then of course a big section of that roof will cave in and probably fall on you while laying in bed asleep. And so it is why you can't seem to Hold On To Love? Because you love Make Belief, and you always ignore issues and the other person's need. And sometimes you won't talk on the phone with that person for a day or two, but in your mind you are carrying constant conversations with your Lover. And then you end up forgetting that this person is not actually there, and he or she needs your voice in their ears and your face in front of them. So Stop that in your next Love Relationship, so you could Hold On To Love.
3. --- Or maybe every time you had a Lover who was on the same page with you, working things out, he or she suddenly left you?
Again, to piggy-back on number 2, you have have to listen and stay aware of issues that are popping up. Because if you don't, then your Sweetheart will start to feel unappreciated, not wanted, not cared for, not respected, not loved, not admired, not understood, and definitely not needed. And you already know all too well, how human beings act when they start to feel that way.... So starting today, Treat Your Love Like It's A Business, or like you do with Work That You Get Paid For. Because then you will do your job, you will do things on time, you will show up ready to make love, you will not take a whole week off every two weeks, you will turn in your reports at the end of each day by handing your Sweetheart a Card. And compared to your Job or Business where you only get paid once a week or once a month, in your Love Relationship, you are actually getting paid Every Single Day with love-making, with kisses, with hugs, with I Love You 's, with little favors, with phone calls, with sweet text messages with pictures, with compassion, with gifts, with flowers, with cuddling in the bed, with spooning, with watching TV together, with dinners, with movies, with Opera Nights (I Love That), with going-out-of-town, with cruises.... Do You See Just How Much You Will Be Missing Out On If You Can't Hold On, and allow your Lover to suddenly leave You?
4. --- Can't Hold On To Love... Is it You who is the constant problem, looking for perfection in Love and Relationship?
Well this question is a constant issue in Love Relationships, because in your heart and mind, you have this version of what Perfect Love and a Perfect Relationship is, and it doesn't matter if others do not agree with you, nor do you care if this type of perfection is just your Twisted Version, because your idea could be to be in chains and being choked, or to get married on the second day of Hello, or to drink constantly and get tattoos as souvenirs of each act, or to have constant group sex.... But you never stopped to wonder if that other person really feels the same way you do, and REALLY wants all that you want. Because you live by The Motto: If they really love me, then they will do as I do, want what I want, and even Accept me for who I am (But this You is constantly changing, even from yesterday). And with all this Craziness, you expect the other person to forget their world, their wants, their needs, their happiness... all of which he or she wants to share with you, and just live in your version of perfect love only. Stop That!!! You can not be a Dictator. You must be Democratic in Love, and it's okay to want Anything in Love, you just have to sit down with your Sweetheart and talk with him or her about it, discuss it, teach it, share it, explain it, acclimate him and her to it (Like some people do when they want to have a Threesome, or some kind of weird sex), time it, work with it.... And then you will bring him or her on board, and have Your Perfect Love Relationship, Your Love Advocate, James Dazouloute
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